Inner Helpers: A Gentle Practice for Resourcing and Healing from Anxiety and Trauma

If you’re a woman carrying anxiety, trauma, or the lingering ache of old wounds, you know how heavy it can feel. And maybe part of you wonders: How do I hold all of this?

The truth is: you don’t have to hold it all alone.

One of the most powerful resources for healing is something you can carry with you everywhere, something no one can take away: your own inner helpers.

One of the most empowering steps in healing is discovering that support doesn’t only have to come from the outside. Yes, relationships, therapy, and community matter deeply. But sometimes, in the quiet moments when no one else is around, what women long for most is a way to feel safe inside their own skin again.

This is where the Inner Helpers practice comes in.

Rooted in Attachment-Focused EMDR and informed by somatic and trauma-attuned therapy, this practice helps you imagine and connect with supportive inner figures, nurturing, protective, or wise presences, that can be drawn upon during moments of stress. Far from being “just imagination,” these helpers offer real, tangible relief because the nervous system responds to felt experiences, not just to external circumstances.

Let’s explore how this practice works, why it matters, and how women can use it as a resource for healing from anxiety and trauma.

What Are Inner Helpers?

Inner helpers are imagined but deeply felt figures you invite into your inner world. They’re not fantasy in the sense of “pretend.” They are living resources inside you that your body and nervous system respond to as if they are real—because, on a physiological level, they are.

These helpers can show up as:

• A nurturing presence - someone or something that offers comfort and care when you’re hurting.

• A protective presence - a figure that brings strength, boundaries, and a sense of safety.

• A wise presence - a source of perspective, guidance, and calm reassurance.

They might look like someone you’ve known, or they might appear as a glowing light, symbolic images or energies, a powerful animal, or a rooted tree. What matters most is not the form, but the feeling of support they bring into your body.

Why Inner Helpers Work

Our bodies and nervous systems don’t distinguish much between what is “real” and what is vividly imagined. If you picture biting into a lemon, your mouth waters. If you recall a painful memory, your body tenses as if it were happening again.

The same principle applies to resourcing through imagination. When you vividly imagine a supportive figure, your body responds. This is not make-believe, but a form of neurobiological resourcing.

If you're healing from trauma, especially those of you who never had consistent protection, nurture, or guidance in childhood, this practice can begin to fill in missing experiences. It allows the nervous system to finally feel what it’s like to be held, protected, and seen.

The Steps of the Practice

Here’s how Inner Helpers can be introduced and practiced, either with a therapist or on your own:

1. Orient and Ground First

Take a look around and notice your space to allow your nervous system settle. Notice your breath. Feel your body supported by the chair or ground. Remind yourself you’re safe in this moment.

2. Invite a Helper

Ask yourself: If I could feel supported right now, who or what would show up?

Don’t overthink it, just trust what shows up. A wise woman, a guardian animal, a glowing light.

3. Notice the Details

What do they look like? How do they sound? How do they move? What energy do they bring - warmth, strength, calm?

4. Feel the Support in Your Body

Where do you notice their support? A softening in your shoulders? A gentle warmth in your chest? A deeper breath?

5. Listen for Guidance

If it feels right, ask: What do you want me to know right now? Let any words, images, or sensations arise.

6. Expand the Team

Some women find it helpful to have three types of helpers: nurturing, protective, and wise.

7. Anchor the Experience

Gently tap your hands on your legs, breathe deeply, or place your hands on your heart while imagining your helpers. This tells your nervous system: This support belongs to me.

How Inner Helpers Support You with Anxiety and Trauma

1. Soothing the Nervous System

Anxiety and trauma often leave the body in a constant state of hyper-alertness. By practicing Inner Helpers, you create a new felt experience of safety. Over time, this helps re-train the nervous system to recognize and trust support.

2. Rewriting Attachment Wounds

Many of us carry attachment injuries, feeling unsupported, unseen, or unsafe in relationships. Imagining nurturing or protective figures offers a corrective experience: even if those supports were absent in childhood, they can be felt and integrated now.

3. Empowerment and Self-Trust

Calling upon a wise helper during moments of fear or doubt helps you remember you have inner guidance. This fosters self-trust and reduces the tendency to look outside for all answers.

4. Creating a Safety Net for Trauma Processing

In therapy, especially EMDR, resourcing with helpers provides stability. Before processing difficult memories, you can strengthen the sense of support so you don’t feel flooded or alone in your pain.

5. Accessible Anytime

Perhaps most importantly, this practice is portable. It doesn’t require a therapist or a particular setting. You can return to their helpers in the middle of a sleepless night, before a stressful meeting, or during moments of overwhelm.

Why Midlife Women Benefit Especially

Perimenopause a turning point. Old wounds often resurface, the body is changing, and roles in family and work are shifting. Many of us find ourselves confronting unhealed trauma or anxiety more directly in this season of life.

Inner helpers meet you exactly here offering nurture, safety, and wisdom in the moments you need them most. They provide grounding when everything feels uncertain, and strength when you’re tired of carrying so much alone.

Closing Thoughts

If you’re navigating anxiety or trauma, know this: healing doesn’t mean doing it all alone. It means finding ways to feel supported—in relationships, in therapy, and also within yourself.

Every time you practice, you strengthen a new pathway - one that says: I am not alone. I am supported. I can trust myself again.

If you’re navigating trauma or anxiety, especially in midlife, consider trying this practice. You may be surprised by how deeply your body responds and how different you feel when you know you have support, both within and around you.

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