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When Life Stops Making Sense: The Perimenopause Shift

Writer's picture: Michaela KozlikMichaela Kozlik



Have you ever woken up feeling like a stranger in your own life? Like the things that used to ground you — your routines, your emotions, even your sense of self — are slipping through your fingers? If you’re in your late 30s, 40s, or early 50s and nothing seems to make sense anymore, you might be in perimenopause. And no, you’re not crazy.


Perimenopause is the long, often unpredictable transition leading up to menopause. It can last anywhere from a few years to over a decade. And while we’re told it’s just about “some hot flashes” and maybe a missed period here and there, the reality is far more complex.


The Invisible Storm


One day, you’re fine. The next, you’re in a fog so thick you can’t remember why you walked into a room. Your patience, once endless, is suddenly paper-thin. Sleep becomes a game of chance—some nights you’re wide awake at 3 a.m. for no reason, others you crash hard but wake up exhausted. Your body feels different. Your skin, your weight, your libido—things are shifting, often without warning.


And then there’s the anxiety. The kind that creeps in like a shadow, making you question everything. The sadness that doesn’t always have a clear reason. The rage that surprises even you.


If any of this resonates, know this: You are not alone, and you are not losing yourself. Your brain and body are adjusting to hormonal changes that affect everything—mood, cognition, energy, even your sense of self.


Why do I feel so different?”


Estrogen, progesterone, and even testosterone don’t just regulate your cycle; they influence your brain chemistry, energy, and emotions. When these hormones start fluctuating wildly, you might feel like you’ve lost control. The memory lapses, mood swings, irritability, and exhaustion aren’t in your head (well, technically, they are—but they’re real).


But because our culture downplays perimenopause, many women don’t realize what’s happening. Instead, we assume we’re failing—at work, at relationships, at keeping it all together. The truth is you’re navigating one of the most profound transitions of your life, and that takes an immense amount of strength, patience, and support.


So, What Helps?


First, awareness. Understanding that perimenopause can cause brain fog, mood swings, sleep issues, and body changes helps you reframe your experience. You’re not broken—you’re adapting.


Second, support. Women were never meant to go through this alone. Talk to your friends, your doctor, your therapist. Share your struggles. Perimenopause is a deeply personal experience, but it’s also a collective one.


And finally, self-compassion. The world expects you to keep going as if nothing is happening, but you don’t have to. Rest when you need to. Say no when you need to. Treat yourself like you would a dear friend—because that’s exactly what you need right now.


This is a season of change, not an ending. It’s a shift—a messy, frustrating, sometimes liberating transformation. And while it may feel like everything is unraveling, maybe, just maybe, it’s making space for something new.


You Don’t Have to Figure This Out Alone


Perimenopause isn’t just physical—it can bring up deep emotional shifts, too. It’s common to feel untethered, questioning your identity, relationships, and even your purpose. Therapy can be a space where you don’t have to hold it all together. Where you can say, “I don’t feel like myself,” and have someone truly listen.


If you’re feeling lost in this transition, I’d love to support you. Together, we can untangle the overwhelm, understand what’s happening, and help you reconnect with yourself in a way that feels grounding and true.


Let’s talk. Reach out for a consultation, and let’s explore what support looks like for you in this phase of life.

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© 2025 Michaela Kozlik, LLC. 

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