—— PERIMENOPAUSE DOESN’T FEEL LIKE WHAT YOU EXPECTED
You’re not new to this kind of work. This season knocked you sideways anyway.
You’ve been in therapy for some time and know yourself reasonably well. The work you've done on yourself is real. This season just turned out to be bigger than you could have imagined. This is depth work for a deep transition.
I’m in this season myself, which means I understand it from the inside. The hormonal piece, the identity piece, the grief, anger, and the disorientation... All of it.
Perimenopause doesn't create the pain.
It uncovers what was always there.
Hormonal changes are real and they matter. But for many women, perimenopause also surfaces something that was always there — grief that was never fully felt, old pain that was managed rather than healed, old questions about identity and worth and desire that got set aside in the decades of doing and giving and holding it all together.
The rage, the anxiety, the not recognizing yourself are often the first time your system has slowed down enough to finally feel what was always underneath. Perimenopause is not creating the pain, but revealing it.
And so much of this gets carried alone because there is no cultural script for the full emotional and psychological weight of this transition. Because the people around you may be supportive but they don’t understand it from the inside.
Healing in this season is not about getting your old self back, but finally meeting the self that was always there underneath the one who was managing everything. That requires someone who won’t rush you through it. And it requires enough safety to let it actually happen.
—— MAYBE YOU ARE
Six women in the middle of
the same transition.
You probably recognize yourself in more than one of these. Most women do.
I’ve done so much therapy. Why does it feel like I’m back at square one?”
You know yourself. You’ve done the work. And suddenly there’s anxiety you haven’t felt in years, rage that comes out of nowhere, tears with no explanation. You’re not falling apart, but it really feels like you might be.
“I used to be someone who could push through anything. I can’t push through anymore.”
Sleep is gone. Your nervous system is on a hair trigger. You’re exhausted. You used to know how to push through. That stopped working and you don’t know what to do with that yet. Your body is changing the terms of the relationship.
“Things I thought I’d dealt with years ago are suddenly right at the surface.”
Trauma you thought you’d processed, grief you thought was done, patterns from decades ago showing back up in your life and relationships. Perimenopause has a way of surfacing what was never fully resolved because your system finally has enough capacity to face it.
“Everything I built my identity around feels like it doesn’t fit anymore.”
The roles that once felt like you have started to feel like costumes. The things that used to give your life meaning feel hollow. You’re not depressed exactly. You’re in between selves. That’s disorienting. And it deserves time and space.
“I’m angry at everything and I feel terrible about it. And I’m also past caring.”
The irritability is real. The rage comes from nowhere and lands on people you love. Then comes the shame. But this anger is the most honest signal that something needs to change. It’s carrying years of accommodation that finally ran out of room.
“I’m lonelier than I usually let people see."
Sometimes it's the grief of life you didn't fully chose, years spent managing, coping instead of fully living. And the loneliness of navigating it without someone who understand it from the inside. This grief comes with some clarity. And it deserves to be explored, not bypassed on the way to “the other side.”
—— WHAT CHANGES
What starts to shift
01
The constant low-level reactivity calms down. You have more space between what happens and how you respond.
02
The anxiety becomes something you understand rather than something that runs you. That understanding is also felt in the body, not just the head.
03
You stop getting triggered into old patterns and start relating to your history with more compassion and more choice about what you do with it.
04
04
You find your footing or solid ground in the transition. Not on the other side of it but inside it. Moving through with support changes the whole experience.
05
You get curious about who you’re becoming. This is usually when things really start to open up because you stopped fighting the transition.
06
You stop carrying it alone, which turns out to be the thing that changes almost everything else.
—— WHAT HAPPENS IN SESSION
Perimenopause is a deep transition.
Talking about it is not always enough.
Perimenopause is a nervous system, identity, hormonal, and relationship transition all at once. The approaches I use are chosen because they reach all of those layers, not just the thinking mind.
Somatic Therapy
Your nervous system is in the middle of a real physiological shift. Somatic work means we pay attention to what your body is holding. We don’t bypass the body to get to the feelings because in perimenopause, the body is often the most honest voice in the room.
Parts Work (IFS-Informed)
The anger, grief, numbness, or the part that still wants to hold it together even when everything is shifting are all parts of you doing their best. Together we get curious about what each part is carrying, what it’s protecting you from, and slowly offering it something different. This is especially useful in perimenopause, when parts that have been silent for decades start making themselves known.
Nervous System Work
Perimenopause changes the nervous system. Things that didn’t used to bother you now send you into overwhelm because your system is in a real transition. We work with that directly, building capacity rather than just managing symptoms.
Attachment & Relational Patterns
Midlife has a way of surfacing old relationship wounds that seemed settled. We trace these patterns gently, not to go backwards but to understand what is being activated and why, and to give you more room to respond rather than react.
Depth-Oriented Relational Therapy
The therapeutic relationship itself is medicine. In a season when so many women feel invisible, unseen, or reduced to their symptoms, the experience of being truly witnessed in the full complexity of this transition, without being rushed toward resolution can be very healing.
Identity & Meaning-Making
Perimenopause is a big, extended identity transition. The question of who you are on the other side of this is real and important work. We hold it seriously as an invitation to know yourself more fully than you have before.
—— THERAPY INTENSIVES & EXTENDED SESSIONS
A different kind of space for
more intense work.
Rather than spreading the work across months of weekly sessions, an intensive creates a dedicated block of time to go deeper without the week-long gaps that can slow momentum. It’s not faster therapy, but a different kind of space.
Half Day
3–4 hours. A focused dive into a specific area — a stuck pattern, transition, resurfaced wound.
Good for those already in therapy who want to go deeper on something particular.
Full Day
Not a long appointment, but an actual dedicated day. With a break so you can breathe, eat, come back. Long enough to move through more than one layer, without having to stop right when something starts to open up.
Multi Day
2–3 consecutive or closely spaced days. This one takes the most time and often does the most work. Two or three days, with breathing room built in between for the things you've been carrying the longest.
Intensives can stand alone or run alongside ongoing therapy. If you're not sure which format fits, we can figure that out in a consultation.