You Have Probably Heard About EMDR. There Is a Lot More to Trauma Therapy
EMDR is effective and well-researched, and it is one of many options. Different kinds of trauma respond to different approaches. This post breaks down trauma therapy approaches in plain language, what each one actually does, who it tends to help most, and how they work together, so you can make a more informed decision about your own care.
By Michaela Kozlik, LCPC · Licensed therapist specializing in perimenopause, anxiety & trauma | Illinois
If you have been looking for trauma therapy, you have probably come across EMDR.
And for good reason. EMDR can be a very effective way to treat trauma.
But it is not the only way.
This matters especially if your trauma is complicated. Maybe there is not one event you can point to. Maybe you grew up in a home where you never quite knew what version of a parent you were going to get. Maybe you learned very young to take care of everyone else, stay quiet, predict and manage other people's feelings, or handle things on your own.
Maybe you understand exactly why you are the way you are, but understanding it has not changed how you feel.
There are many ways to work with trauma now. EMDR is one of them. So are somatic therapy, IFS, Hakomi, attachment-focused therapy, and other relational and body-based approaches.
The question is not necessarily: Which trauma therapy is best?
But: What kind of help does my particular experience need?
What Does EMDR Actually Do?
When something overwhelming happens, the experience does not always get processed and integrated in the way other memories do.
Instead of feeling completely over, pieces of it can continue showing up in the present.
You might have intrusive memories or nightmares, but trauma can also show up in less obvious ways: anxiety that seems to come out of nowhere, feeling on guard when nothing is wrong, shutting down during conflict, or having a body that reacts before your thinking mind understands why.
EMDR uses bilateral stimulation, commonly eye movements, tapping, or alternating sounds, while working with traumatic material. The goal is to help the brain process the experience differently so the past feels more like the past rather than something your mind and body keep responding to as though it is happening now.
One thing many people appreciate about EMDR is that you do not necessarily have to tell the entire story in detail. EMDR is a valuable trauma treatment. It's also one tool in a much bigger toolbox.
Not All Trauma Is the Same
This is where conversations about trauma treatment can become too simplistic.
A car accident is not the same experience as growing up with an alcoholic parent.
An assault is not the same as spending your childhood trying to figure out whether your mother was going to comfort you, criticize you, ignore you, or fall apart.
Years of emotional neglect are not stored and experienced exactly like one frightening event.
All of these experiences can be traumatic. But they can leave different things behind.
Trauma from a specific event
A car accident, assault, medical emergency, sudden loss, or other overwhelming event may leave behind particular memories, sensations, images, or triggers.
In those situations, directly processing traumatic memories can be an important part of treatment.
Complex or developmental trauma
Complex trauma usually does not fit neatly into one memory.
It develops over time.
Maybe you grew up around criticism, emotional neglect, instability, addiction, frightening conflict, or a parent whose own needs consistently took up all the space. You adapted, became independent, or invisible. Or incredibly good at reading people.
Those adaptations may have helped you then.
And years later, they can look like anxiety, perfectionism, people-pleasing, shame, difficulty resting, trouble knowing what you need, or feeling responsible for everyone around you.
This kind of trauma is not only about processing memories. It can involve how you learned to experience yourself, other people, and relationships.
Trauma from early relationships
Growing up with a parent who was unavailable, unpredictable, or frightening affects how you learn to be in relationships.
You were learning what happened when you needed somebody.
Would they come?
Would they get angry?
Would you become too much?
Would needing something make the situation worse?
Or was it simply easier to stop needing anyone at all?
Those lessons can follow us into adult relationships even when we know intellectually that the people in front of us are not our parents.
You might desperately want closeness and become really scared when someone pulls away. Or you might love people deeply but feel uncomfortable depending on them.
This is why the relationship you have with your therapist can matter so much in trauma treatment.
Trauma can also show up in the body
Sometimes you have already told the story and understand what happened.
You have made the connections.
And your body is still feeling the tension.
Your shoulders tighten. You hold your breath or freeze during conflict. You disconnect from yourself. You feel exhausted after situations that do not seem like they should be exhausting.
Insight matters, but with trauma that may not be enough.
That's where body-based and experiential trauma therapies can become especially useful.
There Are More Ways to Treat Trauma Than Most People Realize
The trauma field has expanded considerably. Different approaches reach different parts of our experience, and good trauma therapy often uses more than one.
EMDR and Attachment-Focused EMDR
EMDR uses bilateral stimulation while working with traumatic material to help memories become more fully processed and integrated.
There are also adaptations of EMDR designed specifically with developmental and attachment trauma in mind. These approaches place more emphasis on preparation, internal resources, attachment experiences, and the therapeutic relationship.
Especially useful for: specific traumatic memories and, when appropriately adapted, developmental and relational trauma.
Internal Family Systems (IFS)
IFS starts with a very human idea: we have different parts of ourselves.
There may be a part of you that wants everyone to be happy.
Another that criticizes everything you do, another one that gets angry, and the one that shuts down.
IFS doesn't treat these parts as problems that need to disappear.
We become curious about them.
What are they afraid would happen if they stopped doing their job?
What are they protecting?
When did they learn they had to do this?
For women with complex trauma, this can be especially powerful because many of the things you dislike about yourself may have started as ways of surviving something difficult.
Especially useful for: complex trauma, shame, inner criticism, people-pleasing, protective patterns, and experiences that have become woven into how you see yourself.
Somatic Therapy
Somatic therapy brings the body into the conversation.
Instead of only asking, “What do you think about what happened?” we might also notice:
What happens inside you while you talk about it?
Where do you tighten?
What happens to your breathing?
Do you suddenly feel far away?
Do you want to move toward something or away from it?
Your body is constantly giving you information.
Somatic therapy helps you learn how to listen to that information without becoming overwhelmed by it.
Especially useful for: chronic tension, disconnection from the body, shutdown, anxiety, trauma responses that feel automatic, and situations where you understand your history but still feel stuck.
Hakomi Therapy
Hakomi is a mindfulness-based, body-centered psychotherapy.
Rather than spending the entire session talking about your patterns, we become interested in what happens when those patterns show up right here, in the present moment.
A small experiment, a sentence, a physical sensation, or a moment between therapist and client can reveal beliefs that have been operating quietly for years.
Things like:
I have to handle everything myself.
If I disappoint someone, I will lose them.
My needs are too much.
I cannot let my guard down.
You may already know some of these beliefs intellectually.
Hakomi helps us explore how deeply they are organized into your experience and what happens when something different becomes possible.
Especially useful for: deeply held beliefs, relational patterns, body-based responses, and people who have done a lot of thinking about themselves but want something to actually feel different.
Attachment-Focused Relational Therapy
Some trauma happened between people.
That means talking about relationships while sitting safely outside of one does not always reach everything.
The relationship with your therapist can become part of the work.
What happens when you disagree with me?
What happens when you need something?
What happens when I misunderstand you?
Do you immediately assume you have done something wrong?
Do you worry that I am disappointed?
Do you disappear emotionally when someone gets close?
These moments are not interruptions to the therapy.
Sometimes they are the therapy.
A relationship in which there is room for honesty, repair, boundaries, disappointment, closeness, and difference can slowly challenge what you learned relationships were supposed to feel like.
Especially useful for: attachment wounds, childhood emotional neglect, relationship trauma, difficulty trusting, fear of abandonment, difficulty depending on others, and chronic loneliness.
Nervous System Regulation
Sometimes the first task is not processing the past.
It is helping your system have more capacity in the present.
If you spend much of your life activated, overwhelmed, numb, shut down, or constantly scanning for what could go wrong, diving directly into traumatic memories may not be the best place to begin.
We may first work on noticing activation earlier, finding ways back to the present, increasing your ability to stay with difficult feelings, and helping your body experience moments of settling without immediately becoming uncomfortable with them.
This is not simply learning a few breathing exercises.
It is gradually increasing your capacity to be with yourself when something difficult happens.
Especially useful for: chronic anxiety, hypervigilance, overwhelm, shutdown, burnout, and difficulty feeling settled.
Depth-Oriented Relational Therapy
And then there is the kind of healing that simply takes time.
If your childhood shaped how you see yourself, whom you choose, what you tolerate, what you fear, what you expect from love, and what you believe you deserve, there may not be one memory or technique that changes everything.
Sometimes healing happens through sustained attention to the whole person.
And slowly, you have more choice.
Especially useful for: longstanding complex trauma, identity wounds, recurring relationship patterns, and people who need a consistent relational experience alongside more focused trauma methods.
Good Trauma Therapy Does Not Have to Pick One Approach
This is probably the most important thing I want women looking for trauma therapy to understand. You don't necessarily have to find the one right modality.
One day we may be talking about something that happened with your partner and realize a younger part of you has become activated.
We might slow down and notice what is happening in your body, which may bring us to an old belief. Then we may become curious about where you learned it.
Another time, what you need may simply be to have an experience with another person that does not end the way you expect it to.
That is integrative trauma therapy.
In my Illinois practice, I draw primarily from somatic therapy, IFS parts work, Hakomi, attachment-focused relational therapy, and interpersonal neurobiology. I also work with women who are receiving EMDR from another therapist when coordinated care makes sense.
The approach follows the person, so that the person does not have to fit the approach.
How Do You Know What Kind of Trauma Therapy You Need?
Some questions worth considering when thinking about trauma treatment:
What kind of trauma have you experienced?
Specific event with clear memories. Years of difficult relationship experiences. Early childhood wounding. Each responds well to different approaches or combinations.
How regulated is your nervous system?
If you are chronically activated or chronically shut down, nervous system work and somatic approaches may need to come first before anything else.
Where does the trauma actually show up?
In specific memories? In your body? In how you relate to people? In what you believe about yourself? The answer shapes which approach reaches it.
What has worked and what hasn't?
If something has been overwhelming or has not created lasting change, that is useful information about what your system needs right now.
What is your relationship with your body?
If you are disconnected from physical experience, body-based approaches may need to build that connection before other processing can happen effectively.
As I describe in How to Choose the Right Therapist for a Therapy Intensive — a good initial consultation with a trauma-informed therapist is the most reliable way to figure out what fits your specific situation.
Why I Sometimes Use Longer Therapy Sessions for Complex Trauma
For women with complex trauma, weekly therapy sometimes can't keep pace with what needs to happen.
Therapy intensive creates different conditions. Extended uninterrupted time to:
Build real trust with protective parts before the session ends
Follow what's happening in the body all the way through rather than stopping when it opens
Work with shame and identity at the depth they actually require
Create sustained relational experience rather than fifty-minute increments of it
Leave feeling integrated rather than opened up and raw
As I describe in What Happens in a Full Day Therapy Intensive — Hour by Hour — the arc of a full day creates conditions for movement that weekly sessions build toward but often cannot reach.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is EMDR good for childhood or attachment trauma?
It can be. EMDR has adaptations designed specifically for developmental and attachment trauma. The important question is not if a therapist “does EMDR,” but whether they understand the kind of trauma you are bringing and know how to pace the work appropriately.
What is the difference between EMDR and IFS?
EMDR processes traumatic memories through bilateral stimulation with specialized approaches available for relational trauma. IFS works with the protective parts, the shame, the identity wounds, and heals through building relationship between the Self and the parts. They address different things and work well together. Learn more about IFS in this post What is IFS Therapy and How Is It Used to Treat Trauma?
What is somatic therapy?
Somatic therapy works directly with the body, including the physical sensations, chronic tension, dissociation, and automatic physical responses that trauma leaves behind. It is based on the understanding that trauma lives in the body as well as in memory, and that healing requires body-level work alongside everything else.
What is Hakomi?
Hakomi is a mindfulness-based, body-centered approach that uses present-moment awareness to reach the deep beliefs and patterns that trauma creates that run automatically below conscious awareness. It works at a deeper level than surface symptoms or direct cognitive work.
Can different trauma therapies be combined?
Yes, and this is usually how the best trauma therapy works. EMDR, somatic approaches, IFS, Hakomi, attachment-focused work, and nervous system regulation are complementary — each reaching different dimensions of the trauma. Good trauma therapy is almost always a combination of approaches.
How do I know which approach is right for me?
The kind of trauma you are carrying, how your nervous system is doing right now, where the trauma lives, and what has and has not worked before all shape which approach fits best. A good initial consultation with a trauma-informed therapist is the most reliable way to figure that out.
Trauma Therapy for Women in Illinois
How does perimenopause affect trauma treatment?
Perimenopause makes it harder to keep things managed and suppressed. As I explain in When the Past Comes Back: Trauma Resurfacing During Perimenopause — trauma that was being managed quietly often surfaces more intensely during perimenopause. This affects both which approaches are most appropriate and how much support is needed.
Is a therapy intensive appropriate for complex trauma?
For many women yes with careful pacing. As I describe in Who Therapy Intensives Are and Aren't For — we always assess this carefully together. If you have enough stability and support in your life and are ready to go deeper, an intensive can create significant movement that weekly sessions have been building toward but haven't reached.
Trauma Therapy for Women in Illinois
My practice specializes in trauma therapy for women throughout Illinois, including women dealing with complex PTSD, childhood trauma, relationship trauma, anxiety, burnout, and the emotional changes that can become more noticeable during perimenopause and midlife.
I offer both ongoing individual therapy and extended therapy intensives virtually throughout Illinois.
Schedule a free consultation here
📞 773-343-5005🌐 inpsychotherapy.com📧 Michaela@inpsychotherapy.com
READ MORE
Michaela Kozlik, LCPC — Licensed therapist in Illinois specializing in trauma, anxiety, burnout, somatic therapy, and nervous system regulation for women in perimenopause and midlife transitions.
Offering individual therapy and therapy intensives virtually throughout Illinois — including Chicago, Evanston, Oak Park, Naperville, Wilmette, Hinsdale, Downers Grove, Schaumburg, Glenview, Libertyville, Rockford, Peoria, Springfield, Champaign, Aurora, Joliet, Elgin, Waukegan, Wheaton, Barrington, Lake Forest, Highland Park, Winnetka, Glencoe, Northbrook, Palatine, Arlington Heights, Skokie, Elmhurst, Lombard, Lisle, Bolingbrook, Orland Park, Tinley Park, Oak Lawn, Homewood and beyond.