What It's Actually Like to Work With Me | Michaela Kozlik, LCPC | Illinois
- Michaela Kozlik
- Feb 5
- 6 min read
Updated: Jun 28
Therapy with me is about genuine human connection within a safe, boundaried therapeutic relationship. This post explains what you can actually expect, how I show up, what our sessions feel like, and why authentic presence matters for real healing.
By Michaela Kozlik, LCPC · Therapist specializing in women's mental health & trauma, Illinois
I am not a blank screen.
Some therapeutic approaches value therapist neutrality above everything else: the idea that the less of yourself you bring into the room, the better. I understand the reasoning. And I work differently.
I bring myself into the room. Not my personal life, but my genuine presence, my real reactions, my honest uncertainty when I don't have an answer. Within clear professional boundaries, I show up as a human being rather than a clinical function.
That distinction changes what is possible in the work.
What Authentic Presence Actually Means
I am not going to share my personal life with you or use our sessions to process my own experience. That's not what this is about.
What I mean by authentic presence is this:
When something you share moves me, you'll know it. That's not a technique, but a real human response. And it communicates something important: what you're sharing matters. You matter.
When I'm uncertain, I'll say so. I'm working to understand this and I want to get it right. A therapist who pretends to have all the answers is not serving you. Honesty about uncertainty, offered from a grounded place, is actually more useful than performed confidence.
When something is hard, I'll stay. I won't rush to fix difficult emotions or move past them before they're ready to move. I'll sit with you in the uncertainty. Help you build the capacity to tolerate what feels intolerable. Not remove your pain — but change your relationship with it.
What You Can Expect in Sessions
You don't have to show up in a certain way. The composed, got-it-together version of you is welcome. So is the version that is confused, raw, inarticulate, or not sure where to start. In fact that version is usually the one that does the most important work.
Some sessions will feel like breakthroughs. Others will feel stuck. That's not a sign something is wrong. Some sessions move something significant. Others are slower, laying groundwork that pays off later. Both are part of the process.
You will be seen. There is a difference between a therapist who is tracking your symptoms and a therapist who is tracking you. I am interested in your full story. The context. The history. The things that don't fit neatly into a clinical framework. As I write in Therapy Isn't About Fixing You. It's About Understanding You — the most important question is not what is wrong with you. It is what happened to you.
We will work with your body, not just your mind.I integrate somatic approaches, IFS parts work, and nervous system-informed methods into the work. A lot of what needs to heal lives below the level of your conscious awareness. We work there too.
I will be moved by your story without being consumed by it.This is the balance that makes therapy work. I care deeply and I stay grounded to be useful. You can bring the full weight of what you're carrying. I can hold it with you.
Why This Approach Produces Better Results
Decades of research on what actually makes therapy effective comes back to one consistent finding: the therapeutic relationship is the most significant predictor of outcomes. Not the specific modality. Not the techniques. The relationship.
What that research is measuring is whether the client feels genuinely seen, heard, and safe. Whether the therapist is authentically present.
As I describe in What It Actually Feels Like to Feel Safe — the nervous system learns safety through experience, not through being told everything is fine. A therapist who is genuinely present gives your nervous system real information. A therapist who is technically skilled but emotionally distant gives it very little.
This is also why for women carrying trauma, attachment wounds, or the kind of deep relational wounding that comes from never having been genuinely seen, the therapeutic relationship itself is part of what heals.
What This Looks Like in a Therapy Intensive
In a therapy intensive — a half-day or full day of sustained, focused work — this kind of authentic presence has even more room to operate.
In a 50-minute weekly session, there is limited time to build real relational depth before we have to close things back down. In an intensive, we have hours to build trust and go somewhere real and stay there.
As I describe in What Happens in a Full Day Therapy Intensive — Hour by Hour — the arc of a full day is built around exactly this. Safety first. Depth when the safety is established. Integration before we close.
Who I Work With
I work virtually with women across all of Illinois who are navigating:
Trauma and complex PTSD — as I describe on my trauma therapy page
Anxiety — the kind that doesn't respond to coping strategies alone — as I explain in You Understand Your Anxiety. So Why Can't You Make It Stop?
Perimenopause — the emotional, neurological, and identity dimensions of this transition — as I explore on my perimenopause therapy page
Burnout and nervous system dysregulation — as I describe in What Chronic Stress Is Actually Doing to Your Body
Repeating patterns — the ones you can see clearly and still cannot stop — as I write about in You Can See the Pattern. So Why Can't You Stop It?
Identity questions — who am I now, what do I actually want, what needs to change — as I explore in It's Okay Not to Recognize Yourself Right Now.
You can read more about working with me on my work with me page and my about page.
Frequently Asked Questions
What makes your approach different from other therapists?
I combine clinical training in somatic therapy, IFS parts work, Hakomi, and attachment-focused relational therapy with genuine human presence. I don't believe in performing neutrality. I believe in being authentically engaged while maintaining the professional structure that makes the work safe and effective.
What is a therapy intensive and how is it different from weekly therapy?
A therapy intensive is an extended block of focused therapeutic work — a half-day, a full day, or multiple consecutive days — rather than the standard 50-minute weekly session. It gives us the time to go deeper, stay with material longer, and create more significant movement than the start-stop rhythm of weekly therapy. As I explain in What Happens in a Full Day Therapy Intensive — Hour by Hour — the arc of a full day creates conditions for real integration.
Do you work with women in perimenopause specifically?
Yes — and this is one of my core specialties. Perimenopause creates specific neurological and emotional challenges that require a therapist who understands the intersection of hormonal shifts, trauma activation, identity upheaval, and nervous system dysregulation. You can read more on my perimenopause therapy page.
How do I know if working with you is the right fit?
The free consultation call is the right first step. We talk about where you are, what you're hoping for, and whether working together makes sense. I will tell you honestly if I think a different kind of support would serve you better. As I write in How to Choose the Right Therapist for a Therapy Intensive — fit matters more than any credential or modality.
Is virtual therapy as effective as in-person?
Yes — and for the kind of somatic, nervous system-informed work I do, virtual therapy is fully effective. The work happens in your internal world. Your internal world comes with you wherever you are.
📞 773-343-5005🌐 inpsychotherapy.com📧 Michaela@inpsychotherapy.com
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